y always like that?

16th Dec

I don knw why.. how "they" can back-up such action and decision in allowed some "people" to behave as they want it to be?? does that mean they lose the important key to control or afraid for bad result? always happen to be like that as im the last person to know what that "people" are trying to do and these "they" already knew the plan and give green light of it? really don know..why. Im not that hard..just dissaprove..maybe like mum. disagree most things that may offered to danger..unwilling to let off..but that doesnt mean no respect to me?! i in doubt do I still make sense to speak up or not..

maybe coz that "people' bf" is someone I knew (ex-MUET's teacher son),I dissprove. bt truth is i dislike him.. shld knw what is good for her and not back up for her in everythg she do/did. if knwg she unable to manage herself either,y keep bothering? I knw "ppl" say im boring,not suporting like "them". so most of things didnt let me know or share evry little single secret with me..only took me as slave,working as servant for "them"..sometime its real nice as i ought to do so.. but if ask me to keep my mouth mute, ear deaf and eyes blind,I cant make it.. the intention always thr.I always have feeling to know.curiosity,maybe.

"she" never let me knw about her secret - hiding man to be in life..ignorance not best answer. bt i knw "she" will never share with me..neither success or not. talking phone oftenly nad nearly every single day got once..so im doubting they had connected. Ya..I know in this case,nor any siblings willing to share about personal matter,especially love.. keeping secretly until finally revealed always be their ways of covering. afraid of rejection,maybe..

as once rejected,u nvr had second chance to own it bec. refers bec to freedom post last time,i've been thinking too does that means to me also? yes,sometime when i got to but im not so lucky.. meeting friends not easy.. what more to say inviting fren to come visiting? Sibu plan never "download" me.. I always no opportunity to do so. Alreay entering three years and more I didnt back to my hometown,Sibu.. nevertheless to say meeting old frens. though the heart are beating for the chance..but it always make a roundabout..years by years..

guess the chance only when sista's wedding dinner next year.. Oct 2010. Gosh.. anthr a year to stay with regrets. but no choice.cnt choose they way we want as sort predestined. Wish me luck,all the time.