My first Sip at 27 years old

14th MAY 2013 (11pm)

Its my birthday.. my born day.. Today, I celebrated with companion of great people.. They are the important persons in my life.. My families.. although not all present here but their presence is felt with all those blessing sent to me early morning. The choices of tonite dinner celebration is not constant as usual. My mother suggest to have seafood. I suggest to have Korean food. Big sis suggest to try out Chef at Home (served Western food) nearby area. Bro-in-law suggest Pete's Special (another western place usual eat). And youngest sis suggest the Alfresco (eating place located in line with 360 Hotel). Before it comes to make a decision of choice, we made and created a special way.. Lucky Draw officially done by my little nephew. Indeed very clever, he just choose and take it out. The draw goes to Alfresco Wine and Dine Restaurant. 

Heard of it but none of us been there. So, its a great breakthrough for a fine rating. Western food it served and most part of it suitable for drinking session as beer offered at cheap price. But we also not disappointed with the foods. Few foods receive tremendous rating such as its Sirloin Beef Steak, Spaghetti Bolognese with Giant Meatballs and recommended for those can stand for hot and spicy Alfresco's Chicken Wings.

My first sip is the Tiger Beer that my family ordered One Jug. They serve me one cup but I still cannot finish it up. As it were my birthday, give face is very important and indeed true to show ur gratitude. And, if a person held up their cup and want to have drink with u, u must drink a sip. Last last I sip 4 mouth (not full-mouth). 1st sip is very bitter, its not "spice" like most said but I just cannot bear it. Have to cover with my own drink or some food. Yeah,thats mayb my 1st sip and not so fast to have another round. Not really my choice of drink.

Slices of Blueberry Cheese and American Choc is more than enough for the celebration. Opening with the cake and end after food with it better than none. Its from Secret Recipe. And then the present giving ceremony while waiting the food to be ready served.

Thanks to my sister for giving me a set of make-up brush alongside with handmade birthday card and Handmade Bag Organizer from BebeHandmadeStore to me this birthday. Her work is awesome and marvelous. Very loved it. Much much appreciate the present. 

Interested can pm http://bebehandmadestore.blogspot.com/

And also a lucky angpao (red packet containing luck, wish and money) from my mother. Thanks also goes to my two young sister for the clutch from Calvin Klein with my favorite color (Blue). The color is real nice and not catchy design but very attractive at first sight. So, it is very match with me (they know my taste well). 

Dinner end at 10pm with my little nephew slept at his mother shoulder. Such a tiring day for him to stay awake till this hour. The time now is past 2 minutes after my Day. Now time is 1203am (15th May). 

Here my last word:

I wish to thank all of my friends that sending me great blessing through FB today and I very appreciate all those sweet thought. Birthday is not only a celebration but also remembrance of the day we born and be thankful we were still alive to celebrate another year of birthday.

Good nite everybody.

Is quitting the best solution?

I shld be more cautious on what I gave to him and not intend to causing hurt.. because am not only act as nanny but as her aunt, I should be more alert and aware everything on him. I right to be put blame. I am should be responsible. I should tell the truth that I gave the weapon to him which cause his face got long scratch scar. But I cant. I just don't dare to admit these offence to his parents. Although being questioned few times, I only confess part of the story which not all true. If I admit thats my fault, what may happen? Of coz will be "teach" and "preach" till no face to put and probably giving me "red light" to stay away from his son although he is my nephew. I know the end result.. that's y I dont have the courage at all. 

The suspected weapon causing long scar

I should aware that stuff is harmful with sharp ends even though its only a biscuit packs. Every bend counts. every corner like sharp blade. But I thought if I gave him, then he wouldn't bother me eat my own biscuit. I don't know about it until I saw long scar at his face. He no sign of cry or even scream. He just stare at me and keep rubbing his face. By then,I only realize the serious case of this. The scratch will remain until he is grown up. It is very obvious part which just right after the eye. Even use plenty of aloe Vera still cannot cover it up. 

The baby with the scar

Handsome boy with long scratch scar mark.. So pity. Sorry boy.

Only so, I have to confess to his mother that he "in hurt". Something cause this happen but I dont know". At end, she says,"next time be more careful. Dont put him in playpen if cannot watch him. If really want, get something softer for him.". I admit that's kind of stern advice as a mother. If the child only 1 year and keep knocking here there, face no longer handsome, surely parents will worried and putting the blame on someone spent most of time with their child. 

This job is high responsibility. What I teach the child will showed how will he behaved. My bad tempered maybe will "given" to him. My aggressiveness may cause more trouble coz I cannot control my emotions to get angry. Sometimes he so cute but sometime so heart stricken actions. Is it the time to quit before more accidents happen? or should I tell the parents maybe I'm not suitable with this job? Is quitting can give me relieved? 

stood in middle

25th Feb

This post shall be posted last two days as reflected on what am gonna share for the title above. But that day, too tired to put in typing but so strange..the issue still strolling around my mind. So, its important to share.

If you live a life as a doctor, what would u feel? happy coz' can treat patients? happy coz' patients recover? happy coz' successfully doing the operations? what if bad things happen.. let say, the sick person is your family members and you are required to do operations to them.. how would you be? at the stake as doctor?

I watched "Grey Anatomy Season 8 / 9" last Saturday on TV and intense part is many cases happen in the same time in that 1 hour episode. Doctors also work outstation especially the attendant (not a doctor yet) to assist out-patients from other clinic. Worse to worst is when the other clinic don't have the medical facilities. Have to be depended on what the attendant have to save life. 

Case 1: Attendant and Child Surgeon

Treat the weak just born baby. Put the baby under incubator before flown to own clinic for further treatment. Heavy rain delayed the schedule. Ambulance broke down in the middle of the road and it is night time. Driver asked them to stand outside as ambulance consists of lots oxygen  If one car ramp the ambulance& man  explosion may occur. Means, asking the doctors leaving the baby as intact to the oxygen. What would do? The attendant is a woman, adopted a child. Of coz' she not willing and likely would protect the baby no matter what. 

Case 2: A doctor handling operations in ER, her husband got an operation also that day

If this happen, who should be treated first? The patient or the husband? She is the specialist for the sickness and have the capability to do the operations. But as the doctor already doing the operations procedure, it takes time. Make the husband could not seeing the wife before entering the OR. The doctor trusted "anak murid" will doing the operation for her husband but choose to secretly backing the identity as she believe "if she don know the patient, she will perform better". Thus, the hospital principal helping to keep the secret and let the "assistant" doing the operations. But the husband died because over bleeding (no blood left). As procedure, the assistant should inform the family members of the death confirmed. Till then, she be informed about the identity. So bad...

So, to tell the sifu? It is hard decision as she in the battle of saving another life. If you tell, she may will rush out leaving the OR, another life be gone. But if you don't, you already break the rules as doctor. But its true as what they said," you better dont tell her as no matter what she still will angry with us as her husband is dead under our knife. She will blame us in the end. Delay 1 hour to inform no much difference". Indeed.

What a life of a doctor.. you just stood in middle..if the patient is your loved ones.

clocked-in

25th Feb 2013

Time just 1 minute passed after 12 midnite and left behind the Day 15 of CNY or Chap Go Meh.. some China place called it "Valentine Day". The end of the day seems no effect to me b'cos everyday still be the same. Odd jobs, same people to "serve", same "servant" task to be done, same place I still stand still no move. Sigh* Its me the problem?

Time flies.. Time clocked-in pass Month of January and nearly approaching the end of February and about to welcoming the Month of March. Is the time flies so soon? or because I stay so long at the same place, no feel time is passing fast? Might be. As I don care much what date is today, when is the time, what next..bla.. bla..Sigh* Is that what life is?

In past chapter of me as job seeker, a friend of a friend recommend me to give a try at Korean beauty cosmetic shop inside a shopping mall. Retail shop means working long hours as the shopping mall open and until the mall is closed for the day. Least of it, working on shift. Then, that day walk-in to be interviewed. Frankly speaking the boss shows how much she meant to find one reliable and trustworthy worker to be assist her workloads especially ones that can take over her current position as "Floor Manager" in reporting to other shareholder.

From the eyes, I can feel how disappointed she was when worker left the unfinished work behind as failed to stand the long working hours. 10am to 10pm. Actually to me, it is indeed long hours but if you got ur responsibility, u wont left without notice. But im not so keen with the job but partially accept for two cause and additional view:

1. Give face to my introducers

2. give myself a try as new field

3. Spend my time rather work at home

4. to reduce arguments

People say " if u really want the job, you should take initiative  your first move so that they can judge our sincerity. I din call up to ask about the offer of 7-days testing trial to test "am I ready to stay over restless week.

clear message

18 Oct 2012

How do we know the msg delivered is clear and precise? reaching the targeted focus? what kind of msg consider proved as clear msg? If we believe we had done deliver the clear msg, doesn't it better to check with the receiver the actual msg they got from us? But what if they decline to clarify? I don know next step to know does he/she really get my meaning? Why so hard to make someone to get the msg right..? is that my fault? Hard to say I am good in delivering msg but I believe I aldy mention clearly what am telling and as adult, they should understand. Am not using flowery words, extreme hard words,  forceful letters.. Am just using simple languages. 

If he/she receive the msg, he/she should respond back either ACCEPT or DECLINE. This especially important if we deal with a deal. but when he/she does not give any feedback, how to proceed? to go by ur own decision actually differ from yr intention at the beginning in delivering the msg. If no respond to clarify the msg, what shall do? Repeatedly transmit the msg to him/her? Is that be better? but if he/she really planning not to answering the msg intention, does everything will work out well? I really don know.

I just wish for an answer. Either ACCEPT, DECLINE, REJECT, IN CONSIDERATION, YES/NO, etc.. any respond given is better than none. Better than don't know what next route should be take, don know why the msg failed to reach the receiver, don know either should wait and see afterward respond should be taken..

Am sending in clear msg. To approve my saying, a simple respond is more than enough. A reply is better than let-out hanging. No clear destination, the msg intention going no where. Nothing will be proceeded. Answering the clear msg is always better than ignoring the msg. At least, people will know what to expect, what to wait and what to assume.

anger management

081012

it might hard to control, especially anger. people may just angrily speaking or hardly to control tone of speaking. Actually even it may be minor case, but with bulky of anger in heart, u just couldn't control well. no one is perfect with good anger control. when that's yr bad day, u will not give face at all. even that might be yr spouse, siblings, friends or even close ones. Only way u can do is CONTROL. if u can't, means u really cannot bear the anger any more  No one have the power to say, "Stop. Think. Rethink. and Peace". NEVER. The anger comes from you so it must be end by you. If u cant, those suffer not only you but also those "staying" nearby with you.

Major case:

There's a man returning home in sweaty body. Plan to take bath and get good sleep. But once out from bathroom, find no single pants in drawer, put up the angry face and *&%#@% words blaming "why this stupid things happen"? "wtf hpn to me, at this moment/ now?". What bad is? these %&@$#%& foul words uttered to his wife whom tiredly sleeping. Why? Is that means " you tend to believe her job not tiring?" or " you expect that's her job to get all pants in tidy in cupboard?". NAIVE!! If u really don have anything to wear, just ask nicely. Don shout although u angry. If u know she were sleeping, why shout to blame?

End of case: leaving the house with angry mood with dirty pants and posted angry motion messages to everyone. Things he expect, people will say, "what's happen?".. wishing people to ask and comfort. But in yr heart, still blaming. Keep the case deep down in memory and repeatable the case when the next meeting.  

Control the anger, things might get easy in hand. But seems you don corporate much in this case. You put the blame solely to the wife for not provide enough. Not every man should behave such to woman to show their power. Ask nicely, talk slowly. Everything easy to do. Why makes things so difficult? making everyone affected so painful? leaving the scar that you have the right to ask this and that and we as woman only can say, "YES, SIR. I WILL PROVIDE. YES, SIR. I WILL DO IT NOW. YES, SIR. YOU ARE RIGHT. YES, SIR. THIS MY MISTAKE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME." 

Stupido. Anger is yr personal feeling. If u believe you can control, just control it. Don getting use to do it often. You might not hurt only to others, but also yr own self. 

Breach

Suddenly feels like want writing tonite about this topic. I don have correct exact definition on this but upon my belief, breach happens when you break the law of agreement between two parties and more either on agreed details or anythg related with the process of the collaboration.

breach can happen in many form. Whether how heavy the breach results is, both side may suffer the similar impact. but of coz the one being breached suffered more. You may not knowing the "heaviest" burden they might bear upon the breach takes place, but should aware if u just lest the ass out the matter, the loss all bear upon them. The suffer impacted more than on agreement but also relationship and future collaboration.

In daily life, breach can also happen between simple promise made between two people or more on something and you break the promise (didn't do what had promised), being breached side will sad, fall anger, and deduct the mark of trust within the other side. When u fail to get the trust, next agreement/promise wont come easy to accomplish. Neither to say when u ask other things related with such similar promise.

My confession:
I'd hide the real matter between two person which Im stuck in the middle. As due to my own fault, I don dare to admit it then tells lies to other party but half of them are real case. Am doubting the seriousness of the matter as well as the angry face of the person if found out I hid these matter from them. I had to confess, I had breach the trust one party put unto me and the trust another half.

Almost coming to two months but I still keep mumbling the real issue and keep giving reason which partially true but I don want they found out and blamed not do so at the very beginning.