Time to End soon

20/5/2012

without realize, almost two month gotta passed.. calculating days I've been take the course at SEGi, two more days will be the  final stop. can say its fast, can say "I DON KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT".  Its very true when people say, "u cannot just keep on studying without finding jobs".. Hard to admit but it's true enough to understand especially someone that trying to hide from reality. what i learned from this class, "when you're not knowing how to do the paperwork, u will read more to find answer. When u feel u want just give up the course in the middle, then u will think about the allowance provided" but then think back plus calculation roughly on monies spent on transport and food, that RM500 per month really not enough especially it doesn't in the account in time. with less monies in hand, i really so worried. as big spender like me on Gamble, so hard to reduce the bet.

days to find its end, i little UN-willing, might be with frens i made in the class, might be days i spent within SEGi environment,  might be also I'll be wondering where's my next path. Sigh* so hard..but foremost, i shall thanked few people in my class at here:

Rachel, you're Awesome! Every lift you spare to me, I never repay you back. Never attempt to express my thankfulness for sending me right to my doorstep. I only say "Thank you very much".. I really do appreciate your good self for sending stranger for 2 months like me in your car and humbly apologize about your messy car. You will be blessed for every good deeds you done to me!

Mariana, you're Fabulous! I don know why I feel you're so cool from the first day we met as you're late joining our session. But been matched with you in a group of three before another guy is dropped out from the class, that's really cool. Your act like Big Sista. Taking in-charge most of decisions where I know that's my weaknesses. I am too dependent on you but it's because you have the style in instructing people and i believe you will make big changes in your coming career with mass comm. All the best ahead, sis! God bless your deeds for giving lift to me too!

Amy, you're Style! You're talked to me  and befriended before Mariana came in. Its nice to have a friend like you, young and energetic although our distance just two years. but you got the personality of professionalism. Maybe you have great experience at work, you know how most people behave. I never forget for your help sending me home although far inside like what good deeds Mariana, Rachel and Rita gave me. Wishing you all the best in life!

Rita, you're Cute! First day of class, you alrdy willing to send me down from SEGi. Friendly to describe you coz hardly to believe you don have any worries picking up stranger get into your car as we're yet knowing well each other that time. Still, got many times I hop in your car even just a little distance from home. But, its still very nice. All good deeds fall upon you always!

Rooney, Mami and Irene, won't say much on this special group coz they're full of laughter group combination. Though at first day wont have such flash what happen today will just happen. Thanks to you all! Go nail the Job!

Theresa, Lucy and Steph, you' all so rock! Funny yet entertaining. No boundaries between us which I know from start although not so closed yet. 

Perfectionist Awang, you're such a sincere yet Hated! because of your clever mind, knowledgeable and outspoken steal all the limelight in the class after third days of the class began. It's rather to say you are smarter than us, you just get all the praises. It's not we are jealous over your outspoken, but we also wishing can be like you, so confident and knowing what you says. But, thank you for marking my resumes. All this awhile thought you're such arrogant person but you're nice. Congratulations on your Graduation and the treat you gave to all of us. Thank you!

Marcel, Aziz no idea describe you two.. but both are so "creative" and "attentive". All I wish is " all have great path ahead after this although life may be hard and difficult to walk through unemployed post, but you all can made it!

Last to Ms DD. Thank you for all the knowledge you shared although few portion is contribute by Mr. Perfectionist yet still helpful in knowing our needs as stranger to all assignments.

THANK YOU EVERYBODY!

Jobless Season

09/02/2012

This new season is my jobless since Oct 2011 (if want to be count clearly) should be alrdy 4 months am a jobless graduate. Jobs? I did looking for it, but chance not yet drop by. Opportunity yet open up for me. My sis say, try everythg. Now my mind emptied. How can everythng had typed gone in a click? maybe i forget that Gmail is collaborate with Blogger. Thats y when i log off gmail,all typed in blog tarnished, error.

Well,say no more. I alrdy no idea of what am writing. My fault not saving it first. Job Hunting, Job Hunger best describe me now. Eager for job to pay off debts. Owed so much to certain people inc computer am using now. So bad. even RM195 also couldn't pay every month. No salary in is very much contra in life like"no money in pocket, no mind in brain, no rice in bowl even no breath in life". Dead corpse.

Oh God, grant me a post. a job. a salaried occupation. So that my life not bored with jobless title. Change my attitudes with working life. Mindset of educated person though I dont have experience needed. Some is I don't have the ability to shows what i've learned and not able to prove what i learned is usable in real world.

Help me get rid this Jobless Title into Employed Worker. My Job Hunting and Job Hunger need to off from main thing in life. But this season still my biggest Jobless Season.

29/09/12

Am still carry on the Jobless Title till now. Not very much prefer that title although may no need suffer what the Employed Person did nowadays. The job list all can fit requirement but certain basic regulation, hard to accomplish.  referring to above post, entering month of October 2012 will I declared that I HAD NO JOB FOR 1 YEAR already. This is hardest part to live on. Sending out resumes and application but no responses yet. Sudden time feels if no work then the booked ticket for vacay not be wasted.  I am attached to any  course with 3 days max absent requirement, everything seems hard.

Happy New Year 2012

1st Jan 2012

People will think of new resolutions and recall any previous resolutions not achieved. Probably will write off new or just add on spices to the prev ones. Well,its just paper and pen things. If u reli can make it,don't think u need any prove to remind you on yr resolutions.

Mine,i forgot from the beginning of 1st Jan 2011.. wat happen? i already hardly to re flash or recall back. what i remember i still having class just then and now i finish and jobless. Resolution of course wish to find new job.

Finally got attend 1 interview. my sole and only. but the informal make it not special. Thought they may offer handsome salary as i got higher qualification,but so disappointing with low remuneration which lower even for my degree. So,its not a good idea to consider although i prefer such working conditions. Haih.. so down that time.

Life goes on. Still need stay with current position. same boss, same work, same place, no collegue, no freedom, no pay (sometimes).. Why no one give me chance? I hope the bad words didn't strike me--as within 5 years will not found single job. Thats bad. I don like it.

Anyway,Happy New Year 2012 to olls' out there.

wasted my tears for nothing

Though cried so loud,so much tears wasted today, problem still there. work stil need to do. stil stressful, frustrated. i don have the energy to defend. to say no. i hav to do it at last. but why must blame on me when the email cant get thru? or why forget to do so? if i have many thgs to do in hand(all yr command) is that i cant forget even? even with full job task i also not manage to get it done all. what u expect? keep say "u do things slow2,when to finish? time is running out and u still not yet send out the email to let them prepare the presentation,i don understand why u waste time?" i aldy make clear that im not expert in everythg u expect me to do. evn im just beginner in everythg that i blve my capability. the most weakness is time management. evn got stressful matter also i dont know hw to handle. especially when u keep pushing. keep mumbling. if u trust others, i don think they will mot help u.

sh*t on you..

push..pusher.. hated it very much. especially when ppl think u shall able doing it. u think am expertise on this? pissed off. im not yr dream child, don treat me as i am know everything hw to do. i knw runs out of time but u shall give lease time to rest,though u may feel ok wth it. but am not u~ not as u though as strong. i will die if u keep so pushy. i may accidentally uttered bullshit to yr face. am controlling it this moment bcz u are sm1 "powerful" than every1. but i may hit u with bullshit words if am at yr bac. u may know it but this is truth. hw u treat ppl,ppl will treat u back. so don blame if one day i really say so. u may regret for treating me such at first.

am stupid not as u may wished for, so pls don wish i can change to be person u want, u wish. ur wish may not come true. im not yr bull to carry on their nose. only i don have the chance now so u can treat me this way. i hate you for being pushy. to me or to others which don wan to be yr boneka. if we don follow,u will angry. u will small hearted. so how? u think we are yr play-er? shit!!!! i hate my current life. pls take me out b4 i turn crazy.

credit to mom

i know i always troubled mum to send me to office although she have lots school works to finish in the morning, the only time she had b4 class session starts. she always v tired at nite. i know its my fault. bt i want to escape from car pool erly morning wth him. he will say many words in car. not good words, but stern warning, demand task b complete. i don wan listen to such before real office time. which cn mk my rest of the day worse,no mood. i hate it.

i knw distance is far, smtm trapped in jams,she will mumbling when smtm i need go to banks/othr plcs b4 work.. but still mum will sent me thr. credit,right?

i shld b able drive my own to work. but im not expert yt. so always been scold by him,"got license x knw hw to drive. want move arnd pun ssh."..simply means im troublesome. i know the fact, but not rejecting the facts.. but wat u want me to do? huh..

my dream job

141111

coming to half month of November already,suddenly time flies very fast.. from the day i took up master studies in 2009 now aldy past 2 years. Duh.. Cant imagine,rite? yup. its real. but still don have any job. doing work at here like working at hell with "king of hell". not even will be listed in my job preference or even part time job. Worst!

so recently, i had apply few jobs.. mostly in hotelier industry. to cuba nasib. although seems far but stil near as got sis there. at least can jaga me. from the day i completed my STPM, a always think of entering industry like hotelier, FAB, restaurant industry.. industries that provide hospitality. even got thinking to study on that field. but under arrangement, give me this HR. not say lousy but ppl say HR cannot find "food" at local. many of my frens now not doing basic HR things.

so as i step out from uni with degree holder, want to find work but again being stopped to pursue master. says that with master u can find better jobs. but the bad is i have no choice to taken up same studies--HR. huh.. my dream job fade again. And now,what.. finish master, so eager to search for my dream job then route is being broken down by some people, working at a factory with HR post.

does no one really know that i don want be an HR? u got the knowledge but not the skill,practicable knowledge.. how u think u are manage to control and handle ppl from different background? even not willing but stil have to come work everyday. got salary of RM1,800 although i aldy upgraded to master levels. Im not care abt the salary but rather my performance. im not good time management. am not good control ppl. so everytm i wished don hire so many ppl,keep lesser. then my work will lighter.

here no other exec levels employees. just me alone. this is not healthy work environment. i want to work in a situation that i had a supervisor above me, got my colleague to help each other, and keep our rltnshp close with each other. then i can hang out with them for lunch.. can put on make-up, wear office wear either formal or informal. but at here, i just like others. no need wear so nicely as u work in a factory. sometimes u need "play" with "dirty". if u suddenly wear such dream wear, ppl will think u are crazy.

opportunity came for my dream job. hoping to apply for locals resort although plan is not working in the state/city. i hope menjadi this time because keep pushed to take up PhD pula this time. keep asking to enroll in coming intake, prepare proposals related with "his" target on SCORE. huh.. not my intention to be so disobey, but if study can fulfill my needs, i will not face so much difficulties in completing the studies from very beginning. every parents should know their children ability in studies, where im not always the high achiever. never from primary til now. i never succeed to over my own target. how come they don realized it?

i really disappointed. what so good of PhD? just want me involved with the field as he is?

shout out " i don't want. my dream is with hotelier industry. Don't stop me, pls? give me some space to try out jobs first. why keep blocking my way to success? you think i only can success at yr place? u think i will argue with ppl at the work? "

i know my behavior nt good but i don think will be the same at different environment later on. at least no need working with family is my biggest hope. bcz there always wil have "bring home work" or "extended business matter/issue" which i don want to hear/handle after work. i don think this will happen if i reli worked later which i think the worst is need OT. but its better coz im willing do so as part of my resp. not being forced to understand the fact of the factory operating cost.

Dream job,

pls wait for me. Im willing to sacrifice for you. Pls give me a chance to perform, to give my service to u.